Comments for dg3 danielg

Comment on Outline by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:10:23 +0000

Your thesis does not have an opinion or something to show from your research. Please adjust it and republish. Also, please change your blog title to reflect your new period.

Comment on Thesis Statement by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:29:23 +0000

Sounds exciting!

Comment on Edgar Allan Poe by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 15:35:40 +0000

You don’t have any references listed. Please be sure to give credit when you use other authors’ work or you can not receive credit for you assignment.

Comment on Brainstorming by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 18:02:40 +0000

Please be more specific as far as what you will research about Edgar Allan Poe. When you list a website, you should also list the information you gathered from that site so you can give proper credit later on.

Comment on Castle Park #2 by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:34:14 +0000

Since your problem is that you are sick and unable to go on the rides, you need more description of you being sick. Describe the way you felt as you considered going on the rides. I like the descriptive detail that you added about your aunt and uncle getting out of the car, but you did not continue using that type of description. You can cut everything that doesn’t take place at Castle Park and give more description about what happens there.

Do not edit this post, please copy it, click on “write”, paste it, and then edit the new post. Add #3 to the title.

Comment on Castle Park by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:33:12 +0000

Please describe the events as if they are happening. You tell what you did, but without the descriptions it doesn’t feel like I am there. What is the importance of the story. Try to find a conflict to write about so your story has more purpose.

Do not edit this post, please copy it, click on “write”, paste it, and then edit the new post. Add #2 to the title.

Comment on Rough Draft by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:51:13 +0000

I like the fact that I can hear your voice in this essay. There are a few corrections I would like you to make. When you quote the text, please put the scene and line number in parenthesis after. (Scene 1, line 2) Also, the first sentence of each paragraph does not have to be a question (it works for the hook in the intro, just not all the body paragraphs) and should not be separated from the rest of the paragraph. And finally, the paragraphs on Creon’s flaw and his realization are inconsistent with what we talked about in class. Creon’s flaw was his pride, try to give more examples of that from the play or explain the ones you listed better. When writing about Creon realizing his mistake, please check the text for where this happens and focus more on what is happening in the play rather than Polyneices and Eteocles.

Comment on u1p1#4 by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:41:44 +0000

Good job

Comment on u1p1#3 by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 20:57:16 +0000

Daniel, you have a topic sentence but it is a question. Sometimes we use questions to draw the reader in. Usually we do this in the introductory paragraph of an essay, it seems like a little much for this assignment.

Try turning your question into a statement of fact. This new sentence should be a better topic sentence.

For each strategy, please tell how it will help you to be more successful.

Comment on u1p1#2 by Mr Mollet

Mr Mollet — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:03:09 +0000

You have added a closing sentence, and it is ok (except the word “following”).
You still need a topic sentence. The topic sentence should not be one of the strategies you will use, it should just say that you will use these strategies, or certain strategies, or name all three (or four) strategies that you talk about. Then, for each strategy, tell how it will help you be more successful.

Remember to copy and paste, don’t reuse your posts.